Nancy Pelosi’s Coat, Melania Trump’s Fox News Interview – Monologue

Nancy Pelosi’s Coat, Melania Trump’s Fox News Interview – Monologue


Let’s get to the news. Following lawyer Michael Cohen’s
three-year prison sentence, President Trump claimed today that Cohen pleaded guilty
to campaign charges to “embarrass the President.” No, I think even Michael Cohen knows that if a guy goes out
like this in public… he cannot be embarrassed. He’s that uncle we all have
who grabs his own fat at pool parties and just goes,
“More of me to love!” The fashion brand
behind the red coat that House Minority Leader
Nancy Pelosi wore after meeting
with President Trump announced that the coat will be
added to their 2019 collection. While Chuck Schumer’s glasses will be added
to the CBS readers carousel. [ Laughter ] Chuck’s Cheaters. During a new Fox News interview
with Sean Hannity, First Lady Melania Trump
was asked the moment she and Donald
fell in love. Said Melania,
“I’ll let you know.” [ Laughter ] In the same interview,
Melania said the hardest part about her role
is dealing with opportunists who use her name
and her family’s name to advance themselves. Said one such opportunist,
“You’re not my real mom! [ Applause ] Now give me my allowance!” According to
“The New York Times,” Rudy Giuliani
was in Bahrain this week to get a contract for his firm. Incidentally, a Bahrain is what Trump calls
the thing in his head. “I’m very smart.
I have the best Bahrain.” According to
“The Wall Street Journal,” the Boy Scouts of America are considering
filing for bankruptcy. Meanwhile, the Girl Scouts
are planning to buy a house in the Hamptons
with all that cookie money. Nintendo is suing a man
who has been illegally modifying its video-game consoles
and selling them along with pirated versions
of popular games. If successful, Nintendo could be awarded
a monetary sum of up to… [ Ding, ding, ding, ding ] [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] NBC News has published
an article detailing ways that people can turn wrapping
holiday presents into a workout. The way it works is
you buy someone a lion. [ Laughter ] Today is International
Jewish Book Day. Incidentally, Jewish Book is what Mike Pence calls
the first half of the Bible. [ Audience oohs ] Okay. Bear with me.
Bear with me. Bear with me. That’s right. Today was
International Jewish Book Day — books like Dr. Seuss’
“Green Eggs and That’s It.” [ Laughter ] Okay. Okay. Bear with me.
Bear with me. Bear with me. That’s right. Today is
International Jewish Book Day. Though if you have time
to read a book, you have time
to call your mother. [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] Those were the best three
out of 200. And finally, KFC has introduced new fried-chicken
scented fireplace logs in time for the holiday. So if you’re wondering what
you’re getting for Christmas… raccoons!

Comments

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    Amy

    Ok, but the "Jewish Book" was facing the wrong way, assuming, of course, it was written in Hebrew/Yiddish. Signed, A Book Nerd. 😉

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    J C

    I wonder how Melania really feels about trump paying off pornstars and playboy bunnies to keep quiet during the campaign…although we’ll likely never know until after he passes away and she writes (with a ghost writer of course) her memoirs with the working title of “Melania Trump: My Nightmare As The First Lady To A Criminal President” it’s a little long but we can work on it

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    Peter Matthews

    Great Melania Trump gave an interview to Fox News. I look forward to Laura Benanti and Stephen Colbert's version next week. That might be the comprehensible version.

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    Jordie Madison

    “Opportunists who use the Trump name…”

    So… like Melania? Or was she eating jewelry like spaghetti before she met Donald?

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    moby1017

    Paused it, read the comments, not surprised. How do people laugh at the same unfunny joke? 30 years ago these people would be TV guide subscribers. Damn sheep.

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    James Hargrove

    OOOPS, YOU MEANT GOONS WHO FIND ANY IN THANG USED THE OTHER "t" NAME, FAKE, ALL UUU FAKE, FAKE YOU, NOW THE WORLD KNOWS WHO IS FAKE, EMBARRASSING, NOT ENTERTAINING, THEY GAVE YOU THIS GIFT FOREVER, PAINT THE HOUSE GREEEEEN RAH, YOU PIECE OF FAKE,FAKE,CAKE.

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    Jace Cavacini

    What the hell are they putting in those logs?? And if it’s not fried chicken grease byproducts from their primary business, then what the hell are they putting in their chicken??

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    robert shuman

    Jr,went to Canada, to get extradited, and then pardoned, and then go to Russia, and join,Putin and the KGB republican,party of lennengrad.

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    DavePa little

    Ya know what Seth? The 'I'll let ya know." joke re Melania Trump? Next time I wanna hear about your wife's birthing experience? 'I'll let ya know." Sheesh.

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    David Souza

    The moment Melania and Donald fell in love…
    Oh, u can get me and parents citizenship too…?
    $$$$$$$
    Greencards are us if u are young and beautiful and not black…

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    Ms Peggy Lee

    The most AMAZING 🔆 LATE NIGHT W SETH MEYERS 👏 The most hilariously funny Closer/Look 👏 🙌
    S MEYERS, S. Colbert, T. Noah, J. Oliver, B. Maher, T. Haddish, G. Lopez, J. Fallon, J. Kimmel and all the SNL casts past present future 👏
    I feel so blessed by all the truly amazing American comedians and the comedic relief They ALL bring 👏 👏 👏

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    Livienne Nonord

    4:13 PM | Sunday, December 16th.
    54°F.

    First Lady Melanie Trump
    Would you "W-Rock-S" —>AKA $WaiyeD— My Tote Bag— 'Upon The Edge of Mercy on…. Lupari.com
    With my sophisticated brand —logo….. That says to the world
    (1). "Love Me Like You Care"
    (Sidetrack- and by any chance they don't:
    a. like you
    Nor
    b. Knows how to care
    Option 2 is always available….
    2. Please Don't Love Me Like You Care

    The t-shirt Line will also be available on Lupari.com

    Love
    Luvienne Nonord
    I'm praying for you!
    I seen a headline on the post saying your hubby— AKA husband is going to Florida on vacation…. But couldn't find it anymore except metro ads for December 2018….
    I was inspired to sing the lyrics
    'Step on you—- got this feeling' I must go look up the lyrics now!

  74. Post
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    Livienne Nonord

    4:25 PM
    Actually -for the human
    Correction- for the professional & Christians
    The song title is not Step on you—-
    Correction:
    Lionel Richie 1984
    Stuck On You

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    Maola Buckner

    Oooo yeah; Nancy wore that coat! I Lovesss the way she came out; put ting them glasses on!!!😍 Go get'em Mrs.Pelosi!!! She be ready 4 business!!! When U finish with the coat pass it off to me!!!😁😁😁😍

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    Missing Black Females

    ❤️ http://www.missingkids.org/poster/NCMC/1340537/1/screen
    ❤️ http://www.missingkids.org/poster/NCMC/1330551/1/screen
    ❤️ http://www.missingkids.org/poster/NCMC/1342476/1/screen
    ❤️ http://www.missingkids.org/poster/NCMC/1325015/1/screen
    ❤️ http://www.missingkids.org/poster/NCMC/1333977/1/screen

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    Hugo Lalumiere

    My, my… You attacked religion! How could you!? The purest, most estimed established stories of them all! Take all the lies and the falsehoods from the book and you're left with? Freedom and a clear spirit.

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    Hana Ayo Alemayehu

    All the world thinks Ivanka is an Ass, her father a filthy Pig and Melania a glorified THOT.

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    bigemugamer

    that was a pretty low quality 'coin' sound byte from Mario Bros, is that like when someone other than your channel uploads episodes of "Late Night with Seth Meyers" you guys don't freak out as long as it is a low res copy that's zoomed in and cuts off half of Seth?

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