From the Capital News Studios in Berlin – Ladies and gentlemen, from the studios of the LATELY SHOW in Berlin
… these are the LATELY NEWS … everything else is just fake news … That’s why we start… with the news.
from Germany: BERLIN Speeders are one of the biggest problems in Berlin. Because apparently, many have the feeling
the choice of career was once misguided to be. And hope now for the second or third
Educational countertrack on the streets of Berlin to become a Formula 1 star. To make these leisure-time vettels now with juicy
maltreating speed camera bills Berlin police two ultra-modern speed cameras
I bought it. And these speed traps have already been used
110,000 vehicles at 117 locations in Berlin and the acquisition costs of just under
175.000 Euro already loosely rehearsed. Nothing abnormal in itself.
not look mega futuristic, just like that, as if they were an alien life form.
after a relaxed holiday on earth Forgot about However, you have to be careful with many drivers.
Good hold, on the speed cameras even faster to rush by because it looks real, like
whether Godzilla is having his breakfast, several Japanese tanks, digested and placed in bushes.
at the zoo. Just a minute: Evil Godzilla. That’s ugly!! Next time you’ll use your litter box. Why else did we build Hannover? MARE GARDEN Meanwhile, it is easier the car manufacturers,
not involved in the diesel scandal. are to be enumerated as the ones who were involved in the diesel scandal
are involved. I think it’s the manufacturer, among others.
of the cars of the Flintstones. But he’s got a massive particulate matter problem.
through the worn soles of the feet. And of course Herbie. Because Herbie only drove with love!!! And the blood of unicorns. Now, because of his involvement, Daimler had to
a fine of 870 in the event of a diesel scandal millions. According to the public prosecutor’s office in Stuttgart,
on account of a negligent violation of the Supervision obligation in an area associated with vehicle certification
in the department concerned. Because it is precisely this injury that has led to this,
that diesel vehicles received approvals, although some of their nitrogen oxide emissions
did not meet the regulatory requirements. Which means as much as, “is that normal,
that there’s so much black smoke coming out back there? Yeah, apparently, ’cause the car has a registration.
of the Federal Motor Transport Authority.” Daimler itself has accepted the punishment and
is glad that only one department gets caught but not the 86 other departments,
which is also used for the development of the cheat software were responsible for. You’re lucky! Now, let’s move on to the news from
abroad: MIAMI Everybody knows the series “Breaking Bad”,
where a chemistry teacher, thanks to his university knowledge. became the drug lord. “So can I!” she thought.
a 20-year-old girl from Miami. Only she had already finished school after the
4. Class completed and Crystal Meth to boil
is a lot more exhausting than smoking it,
so she thought to herself, “Why so complicated?
I have an ink printer!” And so she searched the Internet for images
of 100 dollar bills and began diligently this to print. But because they were getting more and more and the way
to the nearest bank so far, she tried with 15.000 Doller simply with the next car dealer
to buy a car. And, not surprisingly.
and of course. What she had told me was that she was using only
I wanted to pay for semi-printed notes, because I was too tired sticking them together. Now she has to answer in court.
and find a good lawyer. “I can do that, too!” she thought.
when they were in custody accessing the color printer the police had and on television
Ally McBeal ran. BOMBAY Quickly do a Selfie on a
cool place, maybe even with the selfie stick. And what many take for granted
sounds, cost 259 euros within 6 years. people’s lives. This does not include the high number of unreported cases
of the people in emergency rooms who have the Selfie-Stick had to be removed from the rectum. The front-runner is India, where Selfie Shooting
159 lives. On the bright side, at least this way.
the relatives still a current photo of the the deceased. Russia follows on place 2, where 50 persons
had a “Selfie” accident. They fell from skyscrapers,
died of secret toxins, snipers. 12 times the same stairs.
dropped off, again and again, himself and then spread it around town. Of sharks with laser guns on their heads
killed by lasers on a table. cut up, poured over with gold
or simply stumbled upon unhappily. after they participated in a democracy demo
have participated. The only strange thing about it is that only one of them
who even had a smartphone in his 50s. And finally … the FAKE NEWS medium
of the week … is this time unequivocally The “konkret -Magazine” Because it’s been seen that the failing
“konkret -Magazin” is only stuffed to the brim. with fake news. I’m someone who formulated on clearly,
factual or specific, perhaps there are exact facts. But I don’t like vague statements or
abstract facts, i.e. all that which in the soup between Donald Trump’s ears
happened. Cause I like it precise, like an arrow of
Legolas. Or can you believe how the bust size of Wonder
Woman. Really, like the fact that Wonder
Woman even likes it with me. Clearly why. Objectively, how DC’s attorneys reacted to it. Objective, like my attorney, who’s
Office in a back room of a nail studio …has. Dense, like my hair, or firm like mine
Bottom. And so I hoped for so much from the “concrete
-I borrowed it from my lawyer. and he still put it on my tab.
and I put my finger on him. Full vague, bro! But had I had too much of the “concrete
-You promised me you’d be in the “magazine”? Because, except for a few pictures of hot
Economic figures, there was nothing concrete inside. Therefore, be warned “concrete magazine”…
the concrete dark yellow LATELY FAKE NEWS Card to you… and you’re standing right now
under our concrete observation! That was the LATELY NEWS… See you around.
again … on Monday … and don’t forget:
Everything else is just fake news. – The LATELY NEWS with Florian Strzeletz
Everything else is fake news!