How to develop Communication Skills Part 2 | 4 Steps to mastery Communication Skills #CoachOnCampus


Now resuming with part 2 of the communication skills video. Where earlier I was sharing with these bright students from GNA University hospitality school about the four stages.How many ?Four stages. That there are no shortcuts. You have to go through four different stages to master any new skill. Whether it’s getting better at communication skills or learning a foreign language or learning how to drive an automobile. There is no shortcut you must go through these four stages.Stage number one is when you’re unconscious incompetent. Page one is unconscious incompetent. This is the stage where you can say ignorance is bliss. I don’t even know the skill exists. I’m unconscious about my lack of the ability or of the skill I’m unconscious; at the same time I am in competent
about it. I don’t know this thing exists. Nor do I know how to do it. Get the point!
I don’t know what it feels like to drive a car . I’m unconscious about that and I
don’t know how to drive a car. I should not be getting inside a car on the
driver’s seat. Okay! I don’t know there is another language called English. I’m
unconscious about it and I don’t know whether I can speak it or not. This state
is where ignorance is bliss, means I don’t know that this thing exists. I don’t know at the moment.The second stage is a very crucial stage. It is when you become conscious about the skill get to know about the skill but you are still incompetent. You don’t know the skill yet but you become aware that something like this exists. You don’t know how to speak a foreign language but you become aware about how it feels when you might learn that language. You don’t know how to drive a car yet but you’re sort of getting the feeling what it might feel like. When I will be in the driver’s seat so now what has happen from stage 1 to stage 2. We have moved there is greater awarenes. In your notes please write down awareness is the first step of change. Let’s be very clear about this! Awareness is the first step of change. We will now resume with the third step of the mastery of any new skill of learning.How to drive an automobile or learning a new language; proving your communication skills in improving your English language skills. We’ve talked about the first level. I was unconscious about the scale; I was also in competent. Stage 2, I developed more awareness. I moved to more consciousness. I became aware but I am still incompetent. I still don’t know how to do it. Remember! I told you how awareness is the first step to change.Now this is the catalyst! What hard work is going to come in at stage 3. where I have now become conscious and aware at the same time. I am gaining competence .This is where most people required the maximum efforts. This is where they will face the maximum internal resistance.This is also where most people will quit. Why? In the driving of a car for example, there’s going to be a time when you have to check ,am I in the second gear, am i in the third gear in the night you’ll have to check. Oh! Is that the brake pedal or is that the accelerator or is that the clutch or what it is? Right! Same with those driving two wheelers. Shall I use the brake or shall I just put my feet down? What should I do?You are thinking about it.You have to think before you do it. Same with communication skills same with English language mastery. Stage three which is conscious and competent.You have started learning but you have to use it.It puts a lot of strain on your mind. You have to think of every single word before it comes to your mind just like you have to think of every single thing. Like you’re cooking for example you didn’t know good food exists.You’re at stage one you went to somebody’s home you enjoy the nice biryani or a nice dish you’re at stage two.Wow there is something called good food. I don’t know how to cook it but I know there is something called good food. Stage three! You read a recipe you go step by step.You’re sweating everything has to be 3 ML means 3 ML. It cannot be three point five.Right! You’re conscious.You’re competent! You make a decent Briani but you will sleep for the next two days because you were so stressed. Okay! This is what? Stage Three! If you don’t quit.Deep breath in Please! Give somebody a fist bump sitting next to you and remind them. Don’t quit, don’t quit so for people who do not quit at stage 3.The ones who will go to stage 4.What is stage 4? Unconscious competence! This is Magic
stage.I am now competent but it happens subconsciously. I now can go on a stage
and speak but I don’t need to put in too much efforts into it it happens by
itself. I actually let go of the control. I can now make a nice biryani or a nice
dish. I don’t need to measure the ingredients. The stage 4. The stage of knowing I’m speaking in front of a camera and I know. The problem is you look at somebody at stage 4 .You look at a chef at stage 4 .You look at a communicator at stage 4 and you say wow! This person was born like this way.She was born special.He or she was born a chef. Infact the moment in the emergency room after the c-section operation. He came out. He told the nurse bring a frying pan and some masalas; I’ll cook something. That’s how in born it was to him nobody’s born that way. He or she was a born good communicator. Infact when he was 1 year old he started giving motivational talks. Right! He was three years old. He was asked by the one of the major political parties to come and do campaigning for them, doesn’t work that way. We look at somebody at Stage four and say, wow God were born special.What you do not see is
stage 1, stage 2, stage 3. Even our friends with the camera crew today. I’m sure they’ve been through stage one. They looked at the camera and they didn’t know what button is what and then they started experimenting. They became aware and then they started thinking and doing it to. Now where it flows where it flows. Would you like to take your skills to a level,where it flows? Yes or No! Then you
have to go through, where you get stuck. In order to get to the stage where it flows. You must go through the path.Where you’re getting stuck again and again and again. That’s how you get to a stage.Where everything is flowing automatically. In that sort of Rhythm. Now I’m reminded of a funny example,where you know people compared with little kids especially with a foreign language.Specially here in India with like the competency of English language is a big thing! Bacha english bol leta hai. One of my friends grandmother. They had a family come over from Canada. All right and they had like three or four year old kids and of course they were born in Canada and they’re Canadian citizens. They’re of Indian descent but they’re Canadian citizens. They were born there.They were of course talking in English so his grandmother says to my friend who is 18 years old. Tenu sharam aoni chaidi aa! Look at these kids! They’re three year kids. They’re three years old they speak better English than you do. He’s trying to tell his grandmother and mum. They were born there. You see how kids learn language. How do they learn? They’re not sure you should go ask your parents. Some kids learn how to abuse at a very young age. Where do they learn that?Friends at home. Kids learn by observation! Yes or No! They learn by absorbing.What’s happening in their
environment?They are not taught an actual lesson. Right, so what kids they
have is immersion. What they have immersion and early exposure .What is happening around. The world is a wonderful phenomena. They’re a British cartoon series called Peppa Pig for little kids.You heard about it. Are you watching it ? There’s no harm! A lot of kids across the world are speaking in a British accent. Thanks to this one cartoon series. Which
is called Peppa Pig.Okay! Interesting thing is people sitting in Indian
villages, don’t know English young kids are speaking in English British accent.
Thanks to Peppa Pig! What are they having is early exposure. what do they have
early. If the Bill Gates they say had exposure to a computer he had access to
a computer and one of the libraries. Where I believe one of his parents was
the professor in that university. That complete that library got one of the
first computers in that part of the country and he could go in and spend day
in day out there. Early exposure helps but if you did not have any exposure to.
Let’s say a certain language or to a better style of communication skills. You
can make up with immersion. I’ll talk about that in detail. Right if you did
not have early exposure. You can make up the deficit through immersion because
there is something in your mind. Which is called neuroplasticity in your brain. It
is called neuroplasticity which means your neurons are plastic. Your neural
connections are plastic. Which means regardless of the age you can learn a
new skill. Right and that depends upon your ability to exert your brain into
new directions. We’ve done brain scans on taxi drivers in London. It is a very difficult test. If you want
the license of a taxi driver in London. They don’t rely on GPS you have
to memorize every street in your mind. Then for years and years they drive
this and what they found out in their brain and MRI scans is the part of the
brain responsible for spatial intelligence of location is very bigger.
Three times the size of another person. Which means once again. I come back to
that your brain will change according to your priorities. We repeat this.Please! My
brain will change according to my priorities. According to the directions
in which I’m putting in efforts. If you are using a lot of social media all the
time. You’re like a zombie you are in a trance hypnotic state. Oh! You’ll hit somebody. You don’t even
know, you’re like somebody called na yeah! That’s right! Like this you’ve seen people just in the state. Their brain is going to change accordingly. Just like the confusion on their screens
and in their minds the same confusion is going to go into their brains and then
in their life. Then they’ll wake up three years later and say. oh! My god what am I
going to do with my life. They wasted three years of just looking at the
photographs of other people which are carefully selected filtered and then put
online right.You have to be careful. Neuroplasticity can work in your favor
and if you don’t use your brain. It can work against you. The ability of your
brain to make new neural connections. I want you all and all my viewers to
look up the video of a young girl from Haryana called Jhanvi Pawar. I hope I’m pronouncing your name correctly. She’s called India’s wonder girl. She can speak eight different accents in English.
I believe also some foreign languages . She is a young girl of 12 or 13 and she has given motivational talks to IAS officers, and spoken at various forums and she has learned all these skills watching YouTube videos; Practicing. There you go! What is your excuse. Your excuses! Sir I also watch youtube videos. I also spend a lot of time on my
smartphone or my PC but I spend time on the things after which I have to clear
out the history from my browser. Life is a choice. What do you spend time on those
are the sort of results you’re going to get into your life. If you spend time on
improving yourself there is no power in the world that can stop you. Okay so
early exposure I saw. I was at vlogger border. Which is a wonderful attraction
everybody. Who’s visiting under sir should go and watch the retreat ceremony.
I had this young kid who was selling water. I believe and some snacks.
He spoke basic sentences not the full language but basic 10 or 12
sentences in 8 or 10 languages. I don’t have his video now, his long back when we
didn’t have the smartphone’s at that point of time. He could speak in Spanish.
He could speak in Italian. He could speak in English. Village guy! I said where did
you learn all this. He said all the tourists serve. They come here.They teach me.Which means if you have the desire and the ability to learn. World will teach you provided you are ready. You clear about these four stages. which are very very important. There is no shortcut. Let me remind you again and again! I want
you to do two things. Number one figure out where are you on this four stage
process. Are you only on step two? Are you just aware and sitting there? Oh! My god I
don’t know English and I will never be able to learn English. I don’t
communicate well and I will never be able to communicate well. I want you to
go to stage three. You’re on stage three and you think I can’t
speak in. Always have to think before I speak. I’m very conscious I have sweaty
palms. I swear to Lord and things like that. That means you’re on stage three.
It’s a good sign. After stage three is over stage four is going to come in you.

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