How To Communicate Effectively with Jason Chessar


Would you like to know how to communicate effectively? If so, this video is for you But first for more videos just like it be sure to subscribe Now back to a point in a topic I had how to communicate effective Well, as you know, especially if you’ve been googling this topic and looking for this this skill this ability to improve your ability to communicate You’ll find there’s a number of different angles and what you can approaches them So me I’m gonna pick two maybe three years of openness and we’ll see if we can add some incredible insight in our hearts but first do you mind if I tell you a little bit about myself so You know where I’m coming from and see if you’re a little bit like me and we have something in common. Yeah Okay, maybe you get my accent. See the truth is if you don’t know it’s it’s actually a speech impediment as a young child I was deaf couldn’t hear couldn’t speak it took years before I could learn how to speak English In fact, it was about a decade of a decade of speech therapy and about a dozen surgeries on my ears Fortunately for me my parents and see they notice and I love magic absolutely love the contracts. I booked a table Okay birds take the stuff They they hired a magician that teach me and it was through my love of magic that allowed me instead facing my fears and learning how to speak eventually going into being humming a master magician performing for Justin Bieber little dragons then Lennox Lewis Bill Kazmaier, etc from there stepping on stage and becoming a national speaking champion all this From a shy little boy who hid behind his mother’s leg or would never go in front of more than two people at a time So learning how to communicate effectively was a powerful tool that I have been learning over the years. Would you like some insights? Understandings, maybe a couple of ideas and techniques that have worked for me and who knows? Maybe they’ll work for you, too Yeah if show so just to be a favorite type Communicate down below. Alright, just type it into the chat box communicate that I’ll be happy to give you some techniques So the first one this comes from Stephen Covey the books seven Habits of Highly Effective People It’s the desire to first make sure that you hear them Before they hear you at first What is what was his wedding his was along the lines of first strive to understand before being Understood so that’s the first technique for being an effective communicator If I’m sitting here trying to tell you something and tell my point to you Whether this is a business a discussion with my partner in life Or maybe a colleague Business or personal doesn’t really matter if I’m trying to get my point across to you and you’re trying to get your point across to Me neither one of us are ever gonna succeed or achieve my goal makes sense. Yeah. So how do you change that? Well, the first step is by asking Questions making sure someone feels heard once they feel heard Reassuring them that they are heard by repeating back to them what they said So that’s technique one. Number one. One of the biggest ones. I used early on. Alright, let’s try this from a different example if instead of me trying to speak and communicate and try to share I asked a question This is an example and you give me your answer and I respond back So with what you’re saying is an IVP back to you with a slight twist my own understanding of it and you say yes Now you feel hurt right now. We can communicate the kind of continue the conversation now we can go down the path But how does this relate the business for example, because I’m a sales coach? I’m a team coach I help teach leaders how to unite your team behind your mission behind your purpose behind your value Whatever it is that goal is how to get your team excited behind it and moving forward. So everybody’s working in the same direction Well, how would this effective communication work in that way? Well one is if I have an obstacle. I have a challenge Let’s say I have a goal or don’t come. I’m trying to achieve I I Come in front of my team and I say here’s the outcome here’s what we’re trying to achieve before I share with you of my ideas is There anything else I’m missing? That would be a challenge that we face here, you know in order to achieve this goal Do you have any insights? Yeah. Oh, so what you’re saying is I challenge this and this and this. Yeah, great. Thank you. Anybody else. Yeah Oh, so you’re saying that the obstacle you face actually a technical issue? Okay. Great. Thank you. Anybody else. Yes. Thank you Now that the team has felt heard Do you think they’re more likely to hear what it is? You have to say see the biggest challenge Most people faces are stuck in their head they are thinking a thought but unless you allow them the chance to get it out of the thought no matter how Valid no matter how intelligent no matter how much of a genius you are They’re not gonna hear it because they’re too busy thinking about the thought that is in their mind So by first allowing them to be heard Allows you to clear their mind and now have these space available to hear what it is. You have to say now That’s how you can do it in the business setting But let’s use this same scenario in a personal setting. Let’s say I’m speaking with my spouse or my partner Let’s say she has a perspective on why we should do something a certain way on how we’re gonna raise our child Or maybe how we’re gonna approach a family or a friend about something. Maybe how doesn’t really matter same concept if she feels that if she has an idea she has a thought and I have a thought if I’m busy trying to get my thought out. She’s trying to get her thought it’s just we’re gonna butt heads We’re gonna hit that wall. We’re never gonna be able to communicate effectively Even if I know what she’s saying and this again, maybe it’s just me, but I’m guilty for already knowing what she’s talking about So therefore I’m dismissing it and trying to jump straight into the solution Guys out there. Don’t do that bad mistake. It does not work. Okay, if however I ask a question I get clarity on her idea confirm. I understand her idea and she feels heard Then go that sounded well, you know, sometimes it’s a great idea right? I love it It’s like you know what that’s better than mine yet. Let’s do that We just say kind or it’s the scenario of that’s a great idea. I was actually thinking this idea and Now we have two ideas to play with and that’s going to communicate allow it back-and-forth conversation But remember you want to switch between those bowls if you ever find that the head-butting is happening in your head It feels like a copy of your wall remember what is within your power? What is then your control is to stop and ask a question? And make sure that they feel heard and and hear what it is They have to say and then revalidate back to them what they what you heard and have them agree That you heard them properly and if they disagree you have to ask another question See that’s within your power and that’s how you can control effectively communicating with another individual Remember you like this stuff if you’re learning some right now go I’m learning type it in the chat box down below. Alright Now what now if it’s tip number two, this is something I use personally This is I use us in business all at home. But I also using personal. So let’s say I’m at a networking event I’ll give you two scenarios I’m at a networking event And I’m talking to business professionals or I’m at a social gathering with family and friends where I don’t really know anybody Remember I was that socially anxious little boy got you know almost felt like I was having a heart attack just because I was having Conversation with someone we boy didn’t know so these were ten this was a technique I came up with a long time ago as a way to overcome that and do battle that and really gain confidence in social settings in Seconds rather than years. How would you like to have a walk into a room and have confidence in the communication build those relationships? Make that connection in 30 seconds for less. Yes. Sounds like something you want great because that’s what this technique will do so again, it comes back to the power of a question now me being that I had a speech impediment and Struggled with speaking. I Literally load down lists of questions and I would practice them but there was this very very specific type of question See my goal in a social setting where I’m having a conversation with someone if it’s someone I don’t know like in a in a social setting like a party or a gathering with friends or if it’s in a business setting my goal there is to find out what the problem is or The challenges is okay. My goal is to ask questions that ignite their passion or the pain Alright one of them So I’m going to start with the personal setting if I’m in a party you are mattering social gathering with friends and family or people I don’t know ideally And I’m feeling a little uncomfortable. I’ll start a conversation with someone have a list of questions What are you passionate about other than work? What is it? You enjoy? Are you a parent? See my goal is to dig deep dive in there learn what their passion of it because what I have learned is the most introverted individual the shyest in the video or the extrovert doesn’t matter if I tap into the passion or Something they’re excited about it was something no a lot of pay you connects You can spark them you can ignite them and get them full of energy. Even if they’re the biggest introvert like I was right But let me ask you this again that maybe you’ve seen it Have you ever seen someone who when you hit a topic all of a sudden I get for energy the lively learn they just go Go go go go and it’s like wow, where’d this person come up? That is what I’m talking with That is what I’m trying to achieve and the reason why is because if I can ignite someone’s passion Experience the excitement if I can ignite that what it does is a couple of different things Subconsciously, okay because an effective communication we want to be conscious, but we also want to tackle the Subconscious that way they can feel comfortable you what I’m attempting to do is one It’s easier to ask questions and is the talk, especially when it’s someone I don’t know much much easier to ask you a question but to by asking it by asking questions and finding What the passion about it establishes something we have in common even if I know nothing about it Let’s say it’s fashion. You know, I know nothing about fashion I can still ask questions and learn and get curious and be engaging in that communication or in that conversation about them getting excited and full of energy it now creates a lively conversation that likely Will draw other people in and make for an even bigger and better conversation The other thing it does so is subconsciously it sets that person at ease It disarms the anti-anxiety and their antisocial tendencies Because as soon as they have that connection with you we bond we build that connection we bond over something even if it’s as simple as a conversation and once we do that It puts both of us a little bit more that’s more to be ourselves It would be a little bit more relaxed and that is where real communication comes in is by dismantling that anxiety in ourselves and removing that Tense feeling in ourselves and in the other individuals, so by finding something they’re passionate about you can disarm that Build that connection and now start being a little more connected with who you really are In that back and forth conversation, but now let’s use this in a business setting Especially for those in the business world, but you can still relate it back to personal you’ll see how in just a moment Let’s say I’m at a networking event. I know nobody there my job Generate leads, right? So what I’m going to do in that setting Is I’m going to ask question They deep into the biggest challenge or the biggest problem in which they face Find out what they’re excited about in business and what works so usually it’s passion or pain, right? So in the setting if I’m going in for passion, that’s hey great I see what I see you in this industry of what industry we take in deeper. You don’t you see an expert in your industry What is the piece of advice you give to someone who knows nothing about it? Do you think that can be excited about that? Do you think they’re gonna get a little lively maybe full of excitement get some energy? Yeah again We’re gonna draw crowd be the life of the party like the event people see us that were a social individual even if I’m not Maybe you are maybe you want that’s your choice. And so we have that conversation and we ignite Whatever their passion of them again, it builds the bond and in business We want to get people to know us and we want to know them that way we can build a likeability amongst each other and if we start to like each other maybe maybe we’ll start to trust each other and if we trust each other that is When we can buy from each other I can make an offer because if they don’t trust me they’re never going to buy from me So that’s all part of that process or On the business side if I’m identifying what is the biggest challenge you face in your business today? And they say something like uniting the team or holding the team accountable imagine if in five minutes or less I could find out the challenge what they struggle with if I could then solve that Or help them with that whether it’s introducing to a video podcast I shot an industry white paper or if I found out that doing something they’re excited about and It was something I knew nothing something I eat I see recently saw a video on social media post I shared it or built that connection. I could send it to them I instantly build that rapport again Furthering the connection within that relationship in a very short period of time So if I was to summarize those two points that I had given the secret one of many the secret to effective communication is by first asking questions and Ensuring you hear the other person hear what it is. They have to say and confirm that they’ve been heard once they have been heard then you communicate your point and Then switch and go back and forth back and forth Hearing them than being heard hearing them sharing your perspective point number two was again abou asking questions with the goal of you igniting the passion igniting their exciting knighting their enthusiasm because the shyest individual will come out of their shell if you touch on a topic that they either know a lot about Or really really enjoy if it’s a parent. Usually it’s the kids if they’re in business It’s usually the product or their service if you had a party or a social event. It’s as simple as asking Other than work. What is it you do for fun? Right find that common connection, but I did say I’d give you 2 to 3 tips Maybe give you a third as a bonus. Would you like the bonus? Yeah, the hardest part of effective communication At least in my experience with people and any of my clients that I’ve worked with around the world is they always ask me Okay, how do you stop the conversation? How do you get out of it? When you’ve had that great conversation? It’s time to go right? How do you get in? Well simple? Again, meaning fact that I struggle with my speech I always wrote them down and rehearsed them like the word tournament. For example in almost a year the master that boy I Won’t even try to mess it up because I don’t want to fall back into that So I would skip them all over the scripts that I had were things like social settings like hey, no This is being fun. I’ll be back. I’m getting a little thirsty I’m gonna go grab a drink or you know, I gotta find my stipes. So just hey great You always talked of in an upbeat. This has been great. I’ve enjoyed the conversation That is really fascinating I always compliment and I uplift but I do so in an ending conversation type verbage So this has been a great conversation. I really appreciate you sharing with that I’m just gonna go grab a drink, but I’ll talk to you a little bit. I’ll see you around right? Alright. Look forward to connecting again. Later Right or I sometimes will have a partner there and it’s like, you know What if I give you a signal you just come in and interrupt or call me over? That’s one way I prefer not to do it. But typically it’s usually thank you so much This has been really great information as soon as there’s a pod you wait for the pause in the conversation And you act this has been really great. I really appreciate your time and that insight this been awesome I’m just gonna go to the bathroom or I’m just gonna grab a drink or you know I want to get to know a bunch of people here It’s been really great talking you and I’ll see you in a little bit sounds fair Yeah, no one has any problem with that you just compliment it and then I let them know you’re leaving That’s the easiest way to get out of the conversation in the end the conversation politely I am Canadian after all so I’ve got to try to be polite but that’s typically the easiest way in business It’s the same thing if I’m at a networking event, the one I always use is No, this is awesome I would love to connect if I actually want to connect with them If I don’t I don’t say that, but if I want to connect, you know It’d be great to grab a coffee If you have a card, I will follow up but I do want to try to meet as many people as I can today The networking events first time here. So I’m going to start talking to a few more people But I’d love to catch up with you would that be good with you and There’s my call to action for the next step in my sales cycle to connect with them and have an even deeper conversation and learn about the problems the business What solved services I could offer or how they could help me and find that that common connection? But hopefully that makes sense if that makes sense type in comment below that makes sense It’s just about being positive on the Elco of the end of this conversation that this is great. I love this information This was amazing something positive and then a reason why you’re gonna leave just give it simple. You know, I want to meet it I wanted me to as many people as I can or my legs are stiff. I’m gonna go for a quick walk or Whatever it may be just list them out ahead of time. What works for you? So if you like this be sure to subscribe like comment down below share the video with someone You know needs this information on how to communicate effectively. Be sure to share it with them Tell them all about it or tag their name down below. So they see it and thank you for your time I will see you soon

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